This was a scene from the Vicar of Dibley that I particularly enjoyed - particularly seeing the love that the character had (kudos, Dawn French!). It was a Christmas special (entitled Winter), and happens to be one of my favourite episodes - immediate Christmas SpiritTM. I hope you enjoy it as well.
A warning - a couple of the jokes are somewhat off-colour...maybe PG rated.
Vicar: Right. Well, thank you everyone for an excellent day’s rehearsal… after a slightly shaky start. Right. The poster. What do you think?
Owen: Well, I don’t know about that.
Owen: Well, I just don’t think it is the greatest story ever told. I mean, there’s that great story about the people whose house was burgled, and they thought that the robbers hadn’t taken anything, and then they developed their photographs months later, and they found pictures of the robbers with toothbrushes up their bottoms.
Vicar: So, what – you think I should write, ‘the second greatest story ever told’.
Hugh: Yes, there is, there is fantastic story about the woman whose husband got out of the car, and she heard this banging on the roof, and the police said ‘get out of the car, and don’t look ‘round’, but she did look ‘round, a-a-a-and it was a lunatic, actually banging her husband’s severed head on the roof of the car.
Vicar: Well, perhaps I should just write, ‘one of the top 10 greatest stories ever told’.
Owen: That’s forgetting all those great Jackie Collins stories – The Beach, The Stud…
Frank: And Beatrice Potter, of course. She wrote lovely stories.
Hugh: And News from Southeast have some excellent local stories.
Vicar: Right, right. Sorry. Can we just stop, right there. Can I just remind you all a little bit about the story we’re actually telling here. Two thousand years ago, a baby is born in a stable. The poorest of the poor. And yet during his lifetime, He says things that are so astonishing that millions of people are still living their lives by them today. He said, ‘love thy neighbour’. He told us to turn the other cheek, whatever people might do to us.
Owen: Does that include that Simon bonking you like a beachball?
Vicar: Yes, it does, Owen…sadly, it does. But most astonishingly, I believe that this tiny little baby Boy, actually was the Son of God. And when He was younger than I am today, He was brutally crucified, for simply for telling people to love each other. And the men who killed Him thought ‘that’s it, He’s dead, He’s gone’. And yet, here we are. Two thousand years later. In a village, in the middle of England, doing a play about His Birth. Now, I think that’s a pretty great story.
Owen: Yes, all right, it’s a good poster, leave it as it is.
Vicar: Thank you. Although I do admit, the one about the toothbrushes is pretty gripping, perhaps we’ll do that next year.
Hugh: Perhaps Frank plays the toothbrush.
Frank: Yes, please.